Relationships

When it comes to partners or loved ones, how much attention do we pay to the space between us?  How free are we to:

  • give and take?
  • share and not share?
  • ask and receive?

Without freely, deliberately, playfully entering into a back and forth between us, we can often see a break down in areas such as…

  • communication and understanding
  • trust and empathy
  • energy and sexual connection

Couples (or polyamorous partner) counselling can be a way to repair the ‘us’ in you-me-us, to respect and support the bond you share, particularly when there are feelings of betrayal, hurt and confusion being held within the relationship.

My aim is to help you:

  • name your concerns and needs
  • develop a strategy for moving forward
  • introduce new techniques for relating to each other (often through homework)
  • stay focussed on your chosen path

Whether your goal is to stay together in the current relationship, forge a new relationship together, or go your separate ways, couples counselling can offer you space to be open, honest and reflective.  Talking helps.

Sexual & Gender Identity

Sexual and gender identity (they’re not the same) is so often at the heart of wellbeing, but each can mean many different things so my starting point for exploring these dimensions is…

  1. creativity: is your identity responsive, playful and expressive of who you are at that moment?
  2. ownership:  is your identity defined by you based on your values, wants and experiences?
  3. celebration:  is your identity recognised, valued and encouraged?

… as this places us in how you see yourself and how others see and relate to you.

I try not to assume that gender and/or sexual identity is…

  • binary: that you have one choice from two options,
  • fixed: that one identity is universal across all contexts, places and time,

… but is authentic, purposeful and satisfied.

From this perspective, sexual and gender identities can be an evolving expression of your vitality and connectivity rather than a static label.  I believe our identity is fundamental to giving or refusing consent in any given situation.

I offer a space for you to take time to consider your sexual and/or gender identity, its meaning for you and your relationships in the wider world.

I aim to be curious, compassionate and celebratory.  Talking helps.

Sexual Expression

How we express ourselves sexually is a unique balance between body and mind.  Sex, for many people, is also very difficult to talk about; it can be awkward, embarrassing, and taboo. But talking helps so the following themes (with some examples) might serve as a starting point:

  • Sex and health (genital/non-genital focus; life-stages and ageing; injury and illness; pain during sex)
  • Sex and wellbeing (individual and group identity; sexual orientation; sexual role, consent and power; sexual politics; anxiety and phobias; experience)
  • Sex and technology (apps; pornography; online dating; catfishing; privacy and vulnerability)
  • Paid-for sex (use of/working as sex workers; saunas/sex-clubs; sexual harassment at work; repercussions, betrayal and anger)
  • Sex and self-care (post-sexual crash (eg dom/sub drop); chemsex; sexually transmitted infections; body limits and tolerances)

Medical concepts like vaginismus, dyspareunia, erectile dysfunction, rapid/delayed ejaculation, anorgasmia and low/hyper arousal may incorporate many themes.

My approach seeks to be adult sex-positive, recognising that you may have a sexual relationship with yourself, another person or people, or objects and situations.

I aim to be non-judgemental, compassionate and focussed on helping to explore, value and express your sexual wellbeing through talking therapy.

Relationships

When it comes to partners or loved ones, how much attention do we pay to the space between us?  How free are we to:

  • give and take?
  • share and not share?
  • ask and receive?

Without freely, deliberately, playfully entering into a back and forth between us, we can often see a break down in areas such as…

  • communication and understanding
  • trust and empathy
  • energy and sexual connection

Couples (or polyamorous partner) counselling can be a way to repair the ‘us’ in you-me-us, to respect and support the bond you share, particularly when there are feelings of betrayal, hurt and confusion being held within the relationship.

My aim is to help you:

  • name your concerns and needs
  • develop a strategy for moving forward
  • introduce new techniques for relating to each other (often through homework)
  • stay focussed on your chosen path

Whether your goal is to stay together in the current relationship, forge a new relationship together, or go your separate ways, couples counselling can offer you space to be open, honest and reflective.  Talking helps.

Sexual & Gender Identity

Sexual and gender identity (they’re not the same) is so often at the heart of wellbeing, but each can mean many different things so my starting point for exploring these dimensions is…

  1. creativity: is your identity responsive, playful and expressive of who you are at that moment?
  2. ownership:  is your identity defined by you based on your values, wants and experiences?
  3. celebration:  is your identity recognised, valued and encouraged?

… as this places us in how you see yourself and how others see and relate to you.

I try not to assume that gender and/or sexual identity is…

  • binary: that you have one choice from two options,
  • fixed: that one identity is universal across all contexts, places and time,

… but is authentic, purposeful and satisfied.

From this perspective, sexual and gender identities can be an evolving expression of your vitality and connectivity rather than a static label.  I believe our identity is fundamental to giving or refusing consent in any given situation.

I offer a space for you to take time to consider your sexual and/or gender identity, its meaning for you and your relationships in the wider world.

I aim to be curious, compassionate and celebratory.  Talking helps.

Sexual Expression

How we express ourselves sexually is a unique balance between body and mind.  Sex, for many people, is also very difficult to talk about; it can be awkward, embarrassing, and taboo. But talking helps so the following themes (with some examples) might serve as a starting point:

  • Sex and health (genital/non-genital focus; life-stages and ageing; injury and illness; pain during sex)
  • Sex and wellbeing (individual and group identity; sexual orientation; sexual role, consent and power; sexual politics; anxiety and phobias; experience)
  • Sex and technology (apps; pornography; online dating; catfishing; privacy and vulnerability)
  • Paid-for sex (use of/working as sex workers; saunas/sex-clubs; sexual harassment at work; repercussions, betrayal and anger)
  • Sex and self-care (post-sexual crash (eg dom/sub drop); chemsex; sexually transmitted infections; body limits and tolerances)

Medical concepts like vaginismus, dyspareunia, erectile dysfunction, rapid/delayed ejaculation, anorgasmia and low/hyper arousal may incorporate many themes.

My approach seeks to be adult sex-positive, recognising that you may have a sexual relationship with yourself, another person or people, or objects and situations.

I aim to be non-judgemental, compassionate and focussed on helping to explore, value and express your sexual wellbeing through talking therapy.