Here are some introductions to ideas and activities that might help.  Take what you need.  I don’t present these as ‘The Truth’ and I would be just as curious as to why these tools don’t work for you as why they do.

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These posts are intended for general information and self-help only and are not a substitute for professional health, legal, social and crisis services.  Neither the content, nor the date of posting, is related to any particular client or clients.

Checklist: on the way to substance addiction?

There are many definitions of addiction or alcohol dependency, usually focussing on an increase in tolerance, physical and psychological dependence, but it can be a personal choice when exactly drinking or using drugs is getting out of hand.I like the stages set out...

Drama Triangle: from ‘role’ to ‘play’

‘The Drama Triangle’ is a model of toxic relationships that has stood the test of time… it’s been around for 40 or so years and is still helpful.  There’s a good video that introduces it here, but essentially it suggests that we play one of three roles in any...

Communication: i before u

When we communicate we often want someone to understand our inner world… what we think, how we feel, what’s really going on for us… this is inviting empathy.  Quite often when we’re angry, or hurt, we start to communicate in a way that makes empathy less likely… we...

Active Listening: I hear you

Ever find yourself just waiting for someone to stop talking so you can have your say, or you’ve got a response ready before they have finished?  I’m pretty sure we all do it, and I’m pretty sure it’s not a good way to communicate.  Usually, the...

12 Steps to recovery (as written by an atheist)

I’m an atheist, but every now and then I go to church.  Does that make me a hypocrite?  Maybe, but probably not.  When I go, it’s usually for one of three reasons: to connect with someone of religious faith to find a calm place to reflect, or to appreciate the art,...

Suicide: emergency action

If you have started the process of ending your life, or are just about to, you don't have to be alone.  You can contact someone safe*. I have already started the process:  phone 999 (the Emergency Operator) I am about to harm myself or end my life: phone 111 (the NHS...